The Ones Who Stay

There is a kind of grief that hides beneath the surface; the grief of losing friends you once trusted with your whole heart. It doesn’t scream like heartbreak, and it doesn’t have rituals or closure. It sits inside you quietly, tightening your chest every time you remember how safe you once felt with people who later became strangers.

Friendship breakups are messy because they rarely have a clear ending.

Sometimes the distance grows slowly.

Sometimes a single argument detonates everything.

Sometimes it is a long chain of small misunderstandings that finally snaps.

And sometimes you realise something even more painful: many friendships were built on give and take.

Support in exchange for attention.

Comfort in exchange for validation.

Presence only when convenient.

Love offered only when you were useful.

It hurts to see that some people never loved you; they loved the version of themselves they saw reflected in your kindness. And when you stop giving, the connection fades.

I’ve lived through that kind of loss. I’ve blamed myself for being too emotional, too intense, too available. I wondered if caring deeply was my flaw. Losing those friendships felt like losing pieces of my own story, like watching a chapter end mid-sentence.

But grief does something strange. It forces you to notice the people who didn’t leave. The ones who stayed without expecting anything.

The friend who listens even when I can’t articulate what’s wrong.

The one who sits with me in silence on days when everything hurts.

The one who doesn’t disappear just because I’m not at my best.

The one who shows up, not out of obligation, but out of love.

Friendship shouldn’t be a transaction. Real friendship feels human and warm. It is a place where you can breathe without pretending, where your flaws don’t scare anyone away, where you don’t have to earn your spot through constant giving.

I am lucky, truly, to have a few people like that. The ones who look at me with softness even when I’m unraveling. The ones who hold my bruised emotions with care. The ones who stay through the storms without expecting sunshine in return.

If you’ve lost friends, allow yourself to grieve. It means your heart was capable of loving honestly.

And if you have even one friend who stays through your chaos and your calm, hold onto them gently.

Some people are not just friends; they are proof that you don’t have to go through this life alone.